The Anti-Ressentiment Philosophy

“The finest souls are those who gulped pain and avoided making others taste it.” ― Nizariat

There is another condition of childhood and loss of innocence that I’d like to underscore. As children, we are forced to be subjected to the endless cycle of repressed and misdirected emotions. We all exist on a chain of emotions, and we all must make a decision at some point where to direct the emotions that we receive, especially negative ones. They can be internalized or externalized.

It would be unethical, in my mind, to argue that a child should be expected to be amply equipped with the tools necessary to make a sound judgement in this area. If a child absorbs pain, there should be no expectation that this child will have the resources necessary to understand how to deal with it. But it must either be internalized, externalized, or possibly sublimated. I think that there is a point where a decision must be made, where one must decide either “I feel pain and therefore want to hurt something” or “I feel pain and therefore want to prevent something from being hurt”. This is a nascent form of true morality.

There is nothing more beautiful in a human being than the capacity to choose the latter path. This is the crucial decision that ends the cycle of intergenerational trauma and repressed emotion. This is the decision that many beautiful souls have made and in doing so contributed to the healing of the world. But my intention is not to criticize those who choose the former path. I do not see it as a fault of theirs. The circumstances which lead to one path or the other are out of the control of the child. They are simply circumstances. Without the proper conduit to sublimate negative emotions into positive drives, a child is forced to express negative emotions. These conduits are not chosen by children because children lack the agency to make such choices.

But I will say this, consider the feelings of resentment and anger you might have towards others. And then consider whether you could perhaps find it within yourself to forgive them. You might think that they deserve it. You might think that you are well within your right to hate them. But to forgive when you are justified in feeling hatred is a show of strength, not weakness. And additionally, it is not for them, and not for humanity, but for you, and only you, that you should make this choice. Because when you learn to let go a weight is lifted. It will not dissolve your problems, but it will make them more bearable.

This is my anti-ressentiment philosophy. And when I think about it, I think of Yuna Kim, the Korean figure skater. She had decided to retire and did not want to continue skating. She had an overbearing mother and was placed under tremendous pressure. But she returned to the Olympics in order to be a role model for the younger skaters. In her performances, there is a subtle sadness in her eyes. A path that perhaps was not hers alone was the path that she walked. And as I said before, this conduit was not chosen. Likely, she found skating to be enjoyable at a young age, but she doubtless had no idea what was in store for her. But what was most remarkable was that when the Russians cheated her out of gold, she was not upset. In an interview she simply said she was happy it was all over.

This is only an example, but its purpose is to express a general principle. The transformation of pain into beauty is what allows the chain of hatred and ressentiment to be broken. We all feel ressentiment. We all are aware of our limitations, of our future demise, of our regrets and failures. To rise above of these things and to create beauty, to, as the greek proverb says, “plant trees whose shade we shall never sit in” is the greatest of human accomplishments. If it were easy, then it would not be remarkable. But in difficulty we can find strength that we did not know we had.