The War Between Masculinity and Empathy

There is nothing inherently unmasculine about empathy.

Empathy itself is not necessarily a “good” quality. Empathy comes from empatheia em- ‘in’ + pathos ‘feeling’. It is described in laymen’s terms as putting oneself in another’s shoes. There is nothing inherently “good” about this, as one could easily put oneself in another’s shoes on the intellectual level, yet actively sabotage their life if they so desired. So, this is a difficult topic to approach and should be approached with surgical caution.

However, it I have the feeling that it is a topic that must be touched upon because there is something very insidious and harmful occurring in our present day culture. We have pathologized healthy masculinity in and by trying to bring down what is “toxic” in it we have unknowingly brought down what is healthy and virtuous in it. This creates a problem that remains unnoticed until it is too late. I wonder to what extent my arguments will even be considered as plausible, but I believe them to be logically sound. My argument is that the crucifixion of masculinity merely results in the absolute destruction of healthy masculinity and the ironic surge in toxic masculinity. The attempt at subverting values and attacking the masculine identity has become the very vehicle through which emotionally underdeveloped males, such as Trump or Andrew Tate become the primary sources of masculine identity formation.

Here is my reasoning. I think that a man today, a man who attempts to cultivate noble and empathetic qualities, will never be allowed to provide for the more rough and partially undesirable needs of young men. “What is mediocre in the typical man? That he does not understand the necessity for the reverse side of things: that he combats evils as if one could dispense with them; that he will not take the one with the other—that he wants to erase and extinguish the typical character of a thing, a condition, an age, a person, approving of only one part of their qualities and wishing to abolish the others” - Nietzsche

The attack on the undesirable features of the masculine identity ironically creates the precise conditions for these very qualities to rise to the surface. In the current social climate, only narcissists and deeply insecure men have the ego and false confidence required to inaccurately portray masculinity. The rest are silenced, and silence themselves, for they have the good manners and decency of character to refrain from manifesting their masculine drives in such crude and undignified ways.

The issue of empathy deserves attention. Empathy is categorized to a great degree as fundamentally unmasculine. This is not true, however. Empathy itself has little to do with masculinity. Empathy is not a behavioral trait or a way of being; it is merely a way of perceiving or capacity to perceive. It would be more stoic and manly to be able to endure the pain of feeling others emotions and remain strong. That would, ironically, be an indication of greater strength.

The lack of any proper definition of guidance for men has lead to the most idiotic and harmful men to rise as “leaders”. In order for this to cease, there must be an attempt to resuscitate a concept of healthy masculinity. Masculinity has been feminized and femininity has been masculinized. I believe there is a fundamental and archaic shame that is at the root of this. Men are told to be ashamed of being men and women are told to be ashamed of being women. Insecurity and shame have cast a veil over our inner worlds and made impossible the prospective of developing a positive self image and genuine self belief.